If we were only taught to be good listeners! Reading, writing and other forms of communication get far more instruction time. Yet being able to listen, and listen well is a differentiator. Everyone wants to feel heard. And by listening effectively, we gain more from every interaction. To teach yourself, use these listening steps in your next conversation. They will make all the difference!

• Listen

• Paraphrase (both content and emotions)

• Check with the speaker to ensure you understood the message correctly (Say something like, "did I get that right?")

• Point out areas of common ground or agreement

• Ask a question to seek additional information or make a point of your own

• Listen

By taking the time to rephrase what the other person has communicated and check your understanding, you are displaying good listening skills and communicating that you value the person.

By pointing out areas of agreement or common ground, you are making a connection that is rarely made in communication.

Asking a follow-up question is a kindness that allows the other person to elaborate on their message. Alternatively, waiting to make your point until after you've demonstrated that you have listened well will increase the likelihood that the other person will take a keen interest and listen to your message.

Listening is a rare skill and one with many benefits.