Expressing Gratitude - Put It In Writing

It is not failure of others to appreciate your abilities that should trouble you, but rather your failure to appreciate theirs.

-Confucious

One of the most essential civility skills is to thank a person when they deserve a sincere thank you. Did you know that over a dozen times a day we have the opportunity to thank someone? From the person who made your bed at the hotel to the person who made you laugh harder than you have in a month. A well-deserved thank you is not always overt, and it's rarely provided in a form as memorable as a handwritten note.

Take a moment to think about the last time you received a handwritten thank you note in the mail. How did it stand out from the bills, coupons, and junk? Do you remember who sent it?

Are you putting off sending that personal note because you worry too much time has passed? Forget every rule you've heard about sending a note in 24 or 48 hours. Send a note today to the person who had you over for dinner six months ago, to the colleague who helped you out on an important deadline two weeks ago, or to your son and daughter for simply being who they are. There are no limits to a handwritten thank you note, and no better way to communicate your gratitude with sincerity.

In addition to thank you notes, there are many occasions to pen a personal note. The following helpful tips are found in the book On a Personal Note by Angela Ensminger and Keely Chace.

Parts to Include when Writing a Personal Note

Are you struggling to get started? Following are some guidelines to help you structure your personal note.

Thank You Note:

• 1. Greet the recipient

• 2. Express your gratitude

• 3. Elaborate

• 4. Compliment and look ahead

• 5. Restate your gratitude

• 6. Give your regards

Congratulatory Note:

• 1. Greet the recipient

• 2. Express your congratulations

• 3. React to the news

• 4. Compliment and look ahead

• 5. Restate your congratulations

• 6. Give your regards

Important Days Note:

• 1. Greet the recipient

• 2. Mention the day

• 3. Elaborate

• 4. Build the relationship and look ahead

• 5. Summarize

• 6. Give your regards

Love Note:

• 1. Greet your love

• 2. Tell him/her why you are writing

• 3. Affirm him/her

• 4. Nuture your connection

• 5. Reiterate why you're writing

• 6. Give your loving regards

Apology and Reconnection Note:

• 1. Greet the recipient

• 2. Apologize or state desire to reconnect

• 3. Elaborate

• 4. Build the relationship and look ahead

• 5. Restate your apology or desire to reconnect

• 6. Give your regards

Comfort and Cheer Note:

• 1. Greet the recipient

• 2. Tell why you are writing

• 3. Elaborate

• 4. Build the relationship and offer support

• 5. Restate caring

• 6. Give your regards

Sympathy Note:

• 1. Greet the recipient

• 2. Express your sympathy

• 3. Elaborate

• 4. Build the relationship and offer support

• 5. Restate sympathy

• 6. Give your regards

Business Note:

• 1. Greet the recipient

• 2. State why you are writing

• 3. Elaborate

• 4. Build the relationship and look ahead

• 5. Restate your reason for writing

• 6. Give your regards

Questions to Ask Yourself:

Are you at a loss on what to include in the note? Reflect on these helpful questions.

• How did you feel?

• What words describe the gift, thought, or action?

• Why does this deserve thanks?

• What are you doing now? Future?

• What reminds you of the giver?

• Was this unexpected?

• Did the person go out of their way?

• What qualities does the person hold?

• What words come to you mind when you recall the event?

• Is there a conversation that stands out?

• What are you looking forward to?

• Will you see this person soon?

• Why is this person important to you?

• What do you think this person would like to hear?

• What was your reaction?

• What admirable qualities will serve them well in the future?

• What wishes or hopes do you have for this person?

• What is your favorite memory of this person?

• What is the significance of this event?

• Any shared memories?

• Will you see this person in the future?

• Why do you want to write this note?

• Been there yourself?

• How did you hear?

• Are you thinking of them?

• What is the occasion or reason for writing?

• What admirable qualities does this person have?

Great Words:

Are you at a loss for words? Here are some great words to include in your personal note.

Gift Thank You: Generous - Thoughtful - Meaningful - Beautiful - Appreciated - Touching - Kind - Heartwarming - Loving - Considerate

Kindness and Support: Compassionate - Willing - Supportive - Understanding - Encouraging - Invaluable - Helpful - Grateful - Touched

Social Events and Hospitality: Gracious - Accommodating - Engaging - Creative - Warm - Pleasant - Lively - Unforgettable - Honored - Delighted - Impressed

Life Events: Wholehearted - Special - Deep - Earnest - Sincere - Genuine - Inspired - Moved - Joyous - Noteworthy

Achievement: True - Well-Earned - Deserved - Proud - Pleased - Praiseworthy - Outstanding - Important - Admirable

Special Days: Memorable - Relaxing - Best - Unforgettable - Perfect - One of a Kind - Thrilled - Celebrating

Holidays: Festive - Merry - Peaceful - Romantic - Nostalgic - Joy - Reflection - Comfort - Remember - Gather - Share

Love: Charmed - Spellbound - Committed - Blissful - Amazed - Dependable - Devoted - Momentous - Meaningful - Lasting

Apology and Reconnection: Sincere - Fervent - Overdue - Belated - Hopeful - True - Heartfelt - Genuine

Comfort and Cheer: Good Spirits - Contentment - Strength - Resilient - Patient - Courageous - Intense - Challenging

Sympathy: Sorry - Deeply - Saddened - Grieved - Truly - Kindhearted - Caring - Respected - Recovery - Solace - Support - Memories

Business: Interested - Pleased - Glad - Fortunate - Confident - Professional - Dedicated - Capable - Talented - Valued - Efficient - Top Notch - Significant

Great Phases:

Are you challenged when trying to translate your kind thoughts into the written word? Here are some time-tested, phrases to include.

• "You have such great taste!"

• "I really appreciate it."

• "It really made my day!"

• "It means so much to me."

• "I can't thank you enough."

• "I really appreciate the time you took."

• "Thank you for your hospitality."

• "It was wonderful."

• "It was good to see you."

• "I'm so (happy) for you!"

• "What (wonderful) news!"

• "I can't wait..."

• "You're such..."

• "I'm looking forward to..."

• "You're on my mind."

• "I hope your day is filled with..."

• "I'd like to take a moment to tell you..."

• "I hope your day is..."

• "I'm looking forward to..."

• "I don't know why we lost touch. I wish we hadn't."

• "It must seem out of the blue."

• "I hope we can get together."

• "I hope you're..."

• "My heart goes out to you."

• "I'll always remember the time when..."

• "Our love and support are always here for you."

• "I was very interested to learn about..."

• "You always have such a (positive) attitude."

• "I'm grateful for the opportunity to meet you."

Great Endings:

Are you looking for an appropriate close for your note? Choose a statment from the following list, invent one of your own or skip the regards altogether and simply sign your name.

Family and Close Friends: Warmly - Yours truly - With love - Your friend

Gratitude: Gratefully - With thanks - My thanks - Appreciatively

Congratulations: My sincere congratulations - With admiration - Good for you!

Romantic Love: Love - All my love - I love you - Always - Passionately - Affectionately

Apology: My apologies - Truly sorry - Sincerely sorry - My sincere apologies

Comfort and Cheer: Tinking of you - With warmest wishes - With hope

Sympathy: With sympathy - With deepest sympathy - My condolences - In sympathy

Religious: God bless - Bless you - With hope and prayers - In His love,

Business: Regards - Best regards - Best wishes - All the best - Yours - Yours truly - With thanks

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